Irreparable Damage?

Porn has damaged my family, perhaps irreparably. I’ve lost two jobs because of my 40 year addiction. I’ve been in recovery for 21 years but became slack and casual about it. Last year in began to act out again after more than two years of sobriety. I lost my job at a Christian ministry this past April due to viewing porn on a company laptop. I’m in recovery again but my wife of 40 years is devastated. She thought my addiction was behind me, getting trauma counseling, and wondering if she wants to allow reconciliation - yet again. I’ve been sober for four months, attend counseling to weekly men’s groups. I’m actively looking for a seven pillars series conquer series locally. I’m still unemployed. I agree with my wife that I do not want to end our separation and resume our marriage until both of us are confident I have victory and relapse prevention steps firmly in place.